This would be me someday…

Lest you think this post is a follow up to my last travel-inspired treatise, let me assure you that there will be no such logical organization here.  This blog is liable to be a meandering hodge podge of topics as strikes my fancy.  Maybe one day there will be a coherence to it all, but for now, let us take a journey of a different sort:  down memory lane.

While I now enjoy the glamorous life of a business professional on the go, believe it or not, this was not my first career ambition.  Back in the 70’s, many little girls wanted to grow up to be a teacher, a nurse or a newscaster on Action News.   (OK, these were my fallback choices in case my number one goal didn’t materialize.)  But my first serious career ambition was to grow up to be Wonder Woman.

And I don’t mean a “wonder woman” who “has it all,” balancing family, a career and an active social life.  I mean Wonder Woman, with the capital “W’s”.   From my early childhood, I believed that Wonder Woman was a real person.   And much like that later fictional character, the Dread Pirate Roberts, Wonder Woman was an identity that was filled throughout the ages, by a series of special, uniquely qualified individuals.

Now, I didn’t flatter myself that I would simply be anointed with this incredible privilege and responsibility.  That’s why I went into serious training at an early age.

First up, the Lariat of Hestia, aka the Lasso of Truth.  I was always taught how important it was to tell the truth, so I naturally believed that this skill would be helpful and valuable in life.   Since there were few Lassos of Truth lying around, I resorted to the Lasso of Jumprope.   I practiced my lassoing and roping skills and, I think, I had a pretty passable toss, as long as the bad guy was within 4 feet and was no taller than 2 ½ feet.  Or on his knees.   I preferred on his knees because that means I wouldn’t have to lasso on the run as he fled.

Having mastered that, my next skill was the bulletproof bracelets.  (!!!)  Any job that required you to wear fabulous bracelets and a tiara was surely worth striving for!   To complete my look, I convinced my mother that I had to have the stars n’ stripes satin-y one-piece bathing suit from Lloyds Children’s Boutique.   It was that perfect combination of flash, sparkle and sensible fit I would need to nab the bad guys, without giving myself a wedgie.    So, with my outfit finished, I practiced my defensive maneuvers with the plastic bangle set we picked up from the grocery store toy section.   I would be impervious to any bullets or foreign objects shot at my head, torso or anywhere in the range of motion of my arms.  (Which sounds kinda pathetic, but really, that’s a flaw in the mythology and a Wonder Woman limitation — not just mine.  Heaven forbid Wonder Woman gets shot in the ankle or in the back.)

Next up, balance, dexterity and jumping ability.   This was accomplished by running around the yard, climbing up our mulberry tree and jumping off my swing set into a tuck n’ roll.  Which might sound marginally impressive until I tell you that the swing set bar was about 3 feet off the ground.  However, I reasoned at the time, even the current Wonder Woman had to start somewhere.  Once I was older and less acrophobic, I could hone my skills to jump from greater heights.

Which brings me to the Invisible Jet.   Even as a child, I could see that the Invisible Jet was tricky.  I’ve never seen anyone lofting through the air, but I imagined that since the jet was invisible, that means I would be able to see through it to the ground below.   I was unconcerned about learning how to pilot a jet plane – that can be learned in time – but seeing nothing below you is another story.  I was worried.  How would I know where the controls were…or the seat…or the bathroom?  And if I used the bathroom, could everyone see me?  Cos that’s a phobia that’s even worse than heights for me.   But with the faith of a child, I accepted that once I grew up and became Wonder Woman, it would all somehow work out.

Reflecting on it, I think that ability is the one super power I carried into adulthood:  assuming that things will work out.   And while my superhero training may seem silly and naïve, I see many useful parallels to my life now:

It is important to tell the truth.

I do feel better and more empowered when I mix in some running and jumping.

Bad guys sometimes get their comeuppance.

And while a fabulous outfit and jewelry can’t protect you from the bullets life sends you, it does wonders for your outlook on it!