Category Archives: Angry

May21

Advanced Studies in Masochism

Posted on by
Standard

Today marks my triumphant return to the blog, angrier than ever because of the way I spent my day yesterday.  In my industry, like many others, I am required to maintain my licensure through periodic classes good for continuing education credits.   Typically these classes are taught by benign souls, slightly beaten down by a combination or life’s toil and the accumulated years of no one paying attention to them.  Because of my vocation as someone who presents for a living, I usually try to pay due attention to anyone who is trying to share something with me that might be of value.  (Instructors…flight attendants…servers in restaurants sharing the specials…)  That, and the fact that I’m a people pleaser and I want everyone’s approval.

Today, even my limits were officially reached when I encountered the most disagreeable instructor I have ever come across in my decades in the workforce and as a student.  This unique combination of Archie Bunker, a can of Red Bull and a gallon and a half of rancid vinegar, proceeded to alienate and generally insult most everyone in the room during our 8 hour class.

During this time, he committed the following acts of educational barbarism:

  • Opening the class with a 20 minute lecture on punctuality and the paperwork requirements needed to get the credit for the class.  Which, in theory, is fine, but ultimately caused us to delay the class content by 20 minutes as he scolded humanity as a whole, on its perceived inability to follow instructions.
  • Intermittent shouting at the class in a snide and insulting tone of voice.
  • Imprecise (at best) and downright incorrect (at worst) facts about the subject matter.  And when these mistakes were pointed out by savvy members of the class, no acknowledgement of said mistake.  Only a plowing over the unimportance of the issue with a loud, “Right,” and then going on to claim the corrected fact as his opinion all along.
  • Rambling examples and stories on subjects not directly related to the class content, but subjects which the instructor felt were more important.
  • Direct challenging of class attendees as they shared personal experiences relevant to the discussion.  PERSONAL experiences, which can’t be refuted by someone who didn’t observe these experiences.  Unless you’re our instructor, who apparently knows and sees all.  Kinda like an evil deity or patron anti-saint of the mundane.
  • Throughout every topic, he would periodically punctuate the lecture with, “DOES EVERYONE UNDERSTAND THAT?”  in a loud outburst that caused more than one of us get a little jumpy by the end of the day.
  • Overindulging the occasional stupid question that led the discussion even more astray.   No ability, or even much interest, in keeping the class on track and under control.
  • Periodic raging on subjects he felt strongly against, including:
    • The government
    • The president
    • The IRS
    • His local water authority
    • The hotel staff where the class was held
    • Teachers
    • Section 8 housing
    • Poor people in general
    • Late arrivals (see bullet point 1)
    • Snoopy
    • The Biggest Loser
    • Elder care attorneys
    • Corporate marketers who work at his company
    • Technology

These rants would be put forth in a way that was neither diplomatic, nor particularly nice.  Obviously there was no concern about offending anyone.

And by the end of the day, while I learned that he had definite points of view on a range of issues (see above) he did seem to approve of a few select, albeit random, things:

    • Permanent life insurance
    • Tomato juice
    • Flexible spending accounts
    • Club soda
    • Roth IRAs
    • Shark Tank (TV show)
More irritating than all this, though, was a contingent of morons in the class who indulged this tyrant by apparently being interested in the divergent and irrelevant details that stood in place of the actual subject matter that was supposed to have been covered.  This coterie of idiots persisted in asking enough stupid questions that, by the end of the day, I do believe I hated these people almost as much as the instructor.   Didn’t they know we were here only to meet the minimum amount of effort required to ensure compliance with the regulations to qualify as “participation”?  Which amounts to, “Can you fog a mirror at the beginning and the end of the class?”  Few of these classes actually provide you with any information necessary to do your job.  It’s a formality, designed to show your company/clients/industry that you’re minimally qualified to set up and keep an appointment in your calendar.  I learn necessary and important things for my career on my own time.   And the fact that people were extending this collective hell because of an actual interest in understanding the un-understandable was vexing, to say the least.

Yesterday, I spent 8 hours reviewing the provisions of a Flexible Spending Account, many of which were questionably accurate.  Even if you read the entire section of the Internal Revenue Code relating to this subject, it would take less than 8 hours.  It’s all enough to send me to a sensory deprivation chamber, or at least some anger management sessions.

DOES EVERYONE UNDERSTAND THAT?!